The following articles appeared in The South Pacific Square Dance Review in 2001.

What Is Life Like Without Square Dancing?

How You Can Help To Retain Dancers – Part 1

How You Can Help To Retain Dancers - Part 2

Recycling Energy

How May I Help? Part 1

How May I Help? Part 2

How May I Help? Part 3

Difficult Requests

For the first time in many years, Linda and I went on a family holiday without packing a single item of square dance clothing. We read books, swam every day, visited friends and went to theme parks. Yes, there is life without square dancing! I've had a chance to re-charge my batteries with a break of nearly five weeks from calling - I realise now that I missed it.

I've also had a chance to reflect a little about our activity. During the break I met up with at least four couples who had previously been keen dancers but had given it away for various reasons. As our connection was through square dancing, it was interesting to hear why they gave it away (and what they were doing now).

The first couple had not danced for over ten years. The club they dance at for twenty years had closed some time ago. Although there were plenty of other square dance clubs in their area, they didn't feel comfortable dancing elsewhere. Even though some of their old friends had joined other clubs, they didn't. They are now happily retired and talked about their grandchildren - they are not likely to take up square dancing again.

Two other couples would still be dancing if health permitted. One couple is hoping to return to square dancing some time in the future when health permits - in fact they said that they miss dancing (and the social side of it) very much. The second couple are close friends of ours, but unfortunately as the man has suffered several strokes they are unlikely to square dance again. They were very keen and had danced for many years. They will miss it tremendously.

The last couple had been dancing since the 1950's but finally gave it away because of arguments within the club that they were attending. Where once there had been a happy atmosphere, there was now only frustration. This club had a new caller after the original caller retired. Apparently the new caller would not listen to the opinion of others and some dancers had left as a result. They now keep busy doing other activities.

In this small sample, that’s fifty percent who would go back if they could and fifty percent who wouldn't go back if you paid them. So what do we learn from all this?

• Half found that the spark had gone out of square dancing, through things changing.
• The other half were unable to continue although they wish they could.
• All had been keen square dancers at one stage, and if things had not changed for them, they might all well still be. They all had happy memories of good times.
• All were making the best of their current situation - regardless of their personal choice. Even those that left square dancing voluntarily still enjoyed seeing their old dancing friends as well as other friends and family.

There are lots of other reasons why people leave the square dance activity and I think we all need to think seriously about what we can do to stop dancers leaving unhappily (I will look at this in more detail next month).

We must also keep in touch with those that depart for health reasons - just because we don't see them on the dance floor doesn't mean that we can't write, visit them or give them a call. Don't let them think they are forgotten.

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As I mentioned last month, some dancers leave our activity for reasons that are beyond anyone's control - factors such as health, moving, work, finances, age or a change in family situations. However, it could also be seen that there are some reasons that dancers "drop out" that we can do something about. This applies equally to newcomers as to established square dancers.

Let's look at some of these things in more detail, and see what we can do to prevent people leaving square dancing unnecessarily.

As new comers discover our magical world of square dancing, they have a choice whether to stay or go. If they don't feel welcome or don't feel that they fit in, they may decide square dancing is not for them. On the other hand, they might get bitten by the square dance bug! There are three opportunities when we can either lose or retain dancers:

1. at the Beginner stage,
2. while they are learning to dance the club level, and
3. when they are established square dancers.

Square dancing is a skill, and these days it takes quite a commitment to master it. If a new dancer learns slowly or misses a lesson here and there, they will probably feel a little insecure, and may wonder if they will ever make it. The established club dancers must help them feel as confident as possible, by gently guiding them in the right direction, and assuring them that they will indeed "make it". All club members should mix and talk with the new dancers and try to establish a friendship with them. It is imperative that they feel welcome and "part of the group". I think that this is one of the great benefits of the "Round Up".

Thinking back to my early days as a dancer (BC - before calling) I can remember that some clubs had a reputation of being friendly, some had "top dancing", and some others seemed kind of elitist. The reputation was largely due to the club's members. After visiting the club, you made up your own mind whether the reputation was justified or not - and you soon knew if you would go back again.

In my opinion, the ideal club would be pleasant, friendly and welcoming to others. The members would support all club functions, set an example for others to follow, and "do unto others as you would want them to do unto you".

The club leaders (official or otherwise) can also add fun, fellowship and enjoyment to their club by smiling, being open and friendly and by being considerate of the feelings of others. On the other hand, they can congregate in closed circles and appear to be snobbish.

Obviously the caller has to take a large part of the responsibility for making sure dancers (new and established) are happy to stay. The caller's job does finish by making the dancing fun and stimulating. He/she should also come down off the stage and mix with the dancers when time allows, making sure not just to mix with a select few.

Actively seeking out the visitors to say hello, talking to the learners, giving them reassurance, listening to their requests and comments, and making sure that they are not left behind are some of the things a caller must also do. Callers should help to minimise cliques (without treading on personalities), and maintain enthusiasm within the club.

Some dancers need extra help. It is very important for the caller to encourage them, and not put them down. Find out which calls need a little extra work. Callers may also find that some dancers don't find the dance program "challenging" enough. It's hard to please everybody, but a part of the night can be put aside especially for more challenging calls (but not the whole night, the dancers need relaxation as well as stimulation).

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Last month I wrote about the "ideal" club atmosphere - one that would make all dancers feel at home and dance along happily forever. I think we can all see that reality is sometimes not quite so rosy. To finish off this theme, let's now look at some of the things that may contribute to people leaving the square dance activity (and maybe find ways to avoid doing these things).

This may happen when a group of experienced dancers (perhaps unintentionally) put pressure on friends to join them in dancing a level that they are not ready for. They feel that they can "pull them through" so everything will be all right. Believe me, this does not feel all right to the inexperienced dancer! They might make it through the bracket, but they will have no idea what they just danced. In addition, they might think that it is OK to join a higher level because they expect to be pulled through.

It is human nature to want your friends to dance with you, but you are either going to cause them frustration and confusion, or they will frustrate and confuse others. This is a no win situation. We should always remember that each dancer has to LEARN the calls, not just fumble through them.

In this wonderful square dance world, unfortunately not everyone is destined to become a "perfect dancer", even given plenty of time. Some will never have the desire to learn Plus or "A" and are happy to cruise along enjoying the music and the company. Unfortunately, because of the way that square dancing has developed in the last 30 years, the emphasis on challenge has meant that these people will often get left behind as the average club level increases. Also unfortunately, many dancers tend to look down on the "weaker" or less proficient dancer, and try their best to avoid dancing with them at all.

No matter what, if square dancing is to thrive (or even survive), there has to be somewhere for people to have a relaxing dance. The majority of the general public will not be interested in joining an activity where only the "dedicated" can survive.

I have a big gripe with callers and club leaders who show no respect for the degree of involvement that each dancer is willing to give. Not everybody wants to dance every night of the week, or dance every bracket of the night. If someone is away for a while, don't make them feel like they are traitors, and don't make them feel unworthy. Welcome them back and let it pass. If you had a great time at a weekend Festival or workshop, that's great, but don't make others feel that they have let the club down by not being there too. People have other commitments besides square dancing - maybe its you who should "get a life".

Take a look at the number of specialised sessions that are now included in weekend Festivals and Conventions. Take a look at the number of dancers that attend these specialised sessions - perhaps 5 or 10% of the total registrations? Yet there is almost a frenzy to have these sessions included. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy dancing (and calling) imaginative and stimulating choreography, but I would love to see the same amount of effort put into promoting a comfortable level of dancing. A level where being a "perfect dancer" is not mandatory - a level that the average citizen could easily achieve. I would hate to see our Square Dance World fall apart through lack of participants, because it is too difficult or too demanding to reach the average club or Convention level.

Recruiting dancers is always going to be a challenge. Retaining dancers is always going to be a challenge. But a club will not survive if it focuses on wants of a few, no matter how vocal they are. We must all share this activity. And we must realise that all callers, cuers, club members and officials share the responsibility of helping to retain dancers. We must consciously avoid anything that contributes to the dropout of dancers.

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Whenever you're watching a live performance on TV, you will hear laughter or applause in the background. It gives the show a certain "ambience" and atmosphere, as if you were actually there. You will notice the same thing if you compare listening to a concert that is recorded "live", with listening to a CD recorded in the studio. The live performance may not be note perfect, but it has a certain energy that the studio version cannot have.

Can you imagine watching a comedian or a sports person performing without an audience? It would seem "dead". Having the crowd respond brings the performer (and the performance) to life. However, most entertainers will face an unresponsive audience from time to time, and it is hard work. Square dancing is no different to any other form of entertainment in this way. There needs to be a feedback between the caller and the dancers. Why is this important?

Like all entertainers, a caller acts as an energy amplifier, taking the response from the crowd and generating a new energy in the form of entertaining remarks and interesting choreography, and sending it back out into the crowd. This recycling of energy builds a rapport between the caller and the dancers, creating a level of excitement in the event and causing people to release energy by "having fun."

An unresponsive audience has the effect of stifling some of the flow of energy from the caller. It doesn't matter if there are ten squares in attendance, if they are simply going through the motions and giving no feedback to the caller, he/she may as well be there alone.

In caller school we teach new callers the benefit of encouraging each other as they nervously struggle through their first few calls. And you would be surprised what effect a good response has on the caller's presentation and enthusiasm. It is difficult for the caller to maintain any enthusiasm when there is very little or no response from the crowd. The caller needs that initial flow of energy from crowd response to fire his engines. Once establishing this "feedback loop", the caller must work extra hard to maintain the energy flow from the dancers.

It is important for dancers to understand that the caller is only aware of this energy feedback by hearing applause! Can you imagine a dance with no applause? I not only can imagine one, I've called one! It's was at a "one night show" where most of the audience was only interested in sitting down, drinking and watching others. Of the hundred or so people attending, it was a struggle to get two squares on the floor most of the time. There was very little energy feedback - the harder I tried, the more frustrating it became. Then all a sudden, after midnight they all wanted to get up and dance and I wanted to go home. Of course this would never happen at a square dance club!

Even in very small tape groups that dance one square at a time in someone's house, you will hear the dancers applaud for each other as they finish each dance. Although not the same as applauding the caller, the dancers show their appreciation for each other.

There are occasions when even "polite" applause is an appropriate response from the dancers. You see, applause is a necessary ingredient in a dance if you hope to enjoy the dance to the fullest, and it helps to get the best out of your caller. It doesn't take very much extra energy to applaud the caller (or cuer), as well as the other dancers in the square. Let your energy flow. The person on the stage will amplify this energy back to you tenfold. Applause! Applause!

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My thanks goes to Barry Clasper for the inspiration for this article. I have edited it a little, but it is based on his article on the USDA Web Site (originally published in Zip Coder Magazine).

To help or not to help? That is the question. There are situations in which we expect to be helped. There are other situations in which we would prefer to handle things ourselves ("please Daddy, it's my train!"). One of the more common sources of interpersonal conflict (academic euphemism for "fight") is the failure to understand when to help and when to leave well enough alone. This is nowhere more true than in Square Dancing.

At just about any dance you don't have to look hard to find somebody who is upset because they've been helped, or because they haven't been helped, or because their offered help and were spurned. Often this situation can be upsetting to the individuals involved. People leave dances, sometimes even a club or tape group, over what they feel to be an inappropriate reaction of help.

Having spent considerable time as both a "helper" and "helpee", sometimes concurrently, I feel I have developed some insights that may serve to rectify this problem - to, ah - help, as it were.

Ask yourself the question, "Why am I so eager to help, anyway?" I think there are three basic answers to this question:

At some time or other, we have all heard somebody expounding on how their superior dancing skill and expert assistance enabled a square composed entirely of hacks and clods (with the exception, of course, of you-know-who) to succeed. Such squares are usually wonders to behold; seven bewildered people surrounded by one whirling dervish who leaps about from place to place, individually positioning each person, hollering instructions and cues, and providing lengthy tutorials during the inevitable periods of standing around.

This is not "help". This is ego gratification at the expense of seven innocent people.

This is a better reason than the first, but still short of ideal. It's not the square that makes it through the sequence; the people make it through the sequence. This may seem a subtle difference, but it reflects an important dancing attitude. If you allow yourself to focus on the square, you have implicitly relegated the individuals comprising it to a secondary status. This attitude may permit the intensity of help to escalate to inappropriate levels, sometimes approaching violent crime. Since success is of primary importance, are we willing to sacrifice individuals to the "greater good"? "Who cares if Joe Klutz feels like he's been mugged, we got to the allemande left didn't we?"

Which brings me to the ideal reason to offer help.

It is often said that Square Dancing is a team sport. In the ideal case, eight dancers and a caller contribute to an experience that is exhilarating, precisely because it can only be accomplished by these nine people working in close co-operation and understanding. To the extent that some participants cannot smoothly execute their roles, the experience is marred. No matter how skilled you are, you cannot dance somebody else's part and still attain that wonderful peak. It's just not the same.

Therefore, it's in all our interests to help those individuals in the square who are having difficulty with their role. But our goal in helping should be to help them understand, not just to "get them through it". Someone who arrives in the correct position in a dazed and bewildered state is not likely to be any more successful the next time. We should strive to provide our assistance in a way that permits the person being helped to learn. In this way, we are contributing to their development as dancers, not just the success of a single tip.

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Continuing from last month, this article was inspired by Barry Clasper (USDA Web Site).

When I was in flying training, I was amazed at the mistakes my instructor would allow me to make. I can remember asking, "Aren't you going to take control?" as the aircraft jinked and staggered its way towards the airfield in a travesty of a final approach. His reply was always calm; "You're doing fine. A bit more power, nose down a bit". Only at the last moment would he take the controls, after letting me work my way through as many non-fatal mistakes as possible. It makes for an intense learning experience!

We need a few more like that in square dancing. We've all had the experience of being helped, sometimes with great force, at the very instant that we had it all figured out. Isn't that frustrating? Some people will drop into help mode the first time they see you make a mistake, or even look uncertain. Thereafter, they help you with everything for the rest of the tip (dance, weekend, your life).

It is important to give people the opportunity to do it themselves. Don't help unless:

• it's requested, or
• the person is clearly confused (so to speak), or
• the person has started to make an unrecoverable mistake.

The basic principle in offering help should be "less is better, none is best." Given this idea, I suggest the following escalating levels of help:

By far the best sort of help. Dance your own part. Be where you're supposed to be, when you're supposed to be there. Give others the maximum opportunity to see positions and formations by being precise and correct in your own dancing. Don't take shortcuts, dance all movements completely and to the music. When dancing material involving complex formations, do a quick check before moving from your spot to ensure everyone else is in the correct formation. Once you leave your spot, their task is an order of magnitude more difficult. Be firm (but gentle) in your use of handholds and hand pressures during the execution of calls. Limp appendages during moves can throw somebody who is unsure.

An inconspicuous gesture to indicate a direction or a target position is often the only clue that people need to handle their part of the call. No marks are awarded for flamboyance or clever charades.

Only a word or short phrase, combined with a gesture may be necessary. No dissertations, just a clue.

A nudge or a touch on the arm or shoulder to get their attention, or hand pressure to indicate a turning direction. No blunt objects, please.

As an absolute last resort, grasp an arm or shoulder (gently, always gently) and move the person into position - but only if you can do it without leaving your own proper position. If you leave your rightful spot to tend to somebody else, you may sufficiently distort the formation that others become confused. Now you've compounded the problem!

Just as you shouldn't help unless it's absolutely necessary, don't continue to help when it's no longer needed. A single mistake does not necessitate a whole evening of continuous assistance.

A tougher call to make is when you are asked to help by people whose dancing skills exceed their self-confidence. If you continue to help past the point where they actually need it, you may be breeding a dependence that will hamper them later. Make sure they dance everything they are capable of and provide the encouragement they need to build their self-confidence - but, again, gently. Encouragement is almost as controversial as help (when does encouragement become pressure?)

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Continuing from last month's article inspired by Barry Clasper (USDA Web Site).

The last two months have concentrating on being a good helper. Being a "helpee", however, also requires certain skills.

Everybody needs help sometime. If you're confused or unsure, ask for help. You will usually find that those you ask are more than willing to provide it.

As is the case with most pressure situations, dithering about in a panic when the square starts to look strange will accomplish nothing. Instead, concentrate, examine the formation, recite the definition of the call in your head, force yourself to think.

Don't force the other dancers in the square to read your mind if you have a problem with a call. Do or say something to let them know. There should be a significant difference in your demeanour that indicates the "I'm in deep trouble" state, from the "I know what I'm doing" state. I usually just say "Help, I'm lost". It's kind of boring but it gets the job done.

As a corollary to this, keep your eyes open for help that is being offered. Don't expect someone to escort you to your position and tuck you in. You have to co-operate and be receptive.

There are some easy tricks that might help you recover your position even if you have no idea what just transpired:

If you're the only one who is at sea, there is usually a hole somewhere in the formation, conspicuous by your absence.

Good callers tend to use choreography that flows. If you follow the body flow there is a decent chance that you're headed in roughly the right direction.

If you find you're not where you're supposed to be, just assume your new identity. Who knows, you may find a new thrill in life. If you keep the square going there is an excellent chance that you will get an opportunity to fix the problem later.

If you're confused, keep an eye on your opposite. If your opposite is also confused (or is watching you), look for your counterpart in another square. DON'T use this as a dancing technique. It's a recovery technique, only to be used after you've become completely lost.

If something happens that you don't understand, wait until the tip is finished to mull it over. Thinking about something that's over while you're still dancing is sure death. I speak from bitter personal experience.

This seems sort of obvious but is often overlooked. Let people know you appreciate their help.

I recognise that this deliberate, reasoned approach is difficult to implement in the heat of battle. That doesn't mean, however, that we shouldn't strive to attain the ideal. The next time somebody becomes upset with your attempts at assistance, ask yourself where you might have fallen short. The next time you feel you did not receive help that you wanted, ask yourself whether you were clear in indicating your need. In this way, we can help each other to attain new levels of dancing pleasure.

Once again, my thanks to Barry Clasper for this article. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did when I found it on the net. Brings back a lot of memories doesn't it?

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I've had a lot of requests over the years. These are usually for a favorite singing call or to walk through a particular move. But sometimes, it's a little different. Sometimes the request is to carry a message to someone else in the dance hall, such as "can you tell so-and so not to swing so violently", or "so-and-so's ring just scratched my arm, can you ask them to be more careful". Usually though, word comes to Linda or myself in a little more subtle manner like "so-and-so is a bit careless with their hands when we promenade" or " so-and-so really needs deodorant". The request for the caller to say something to "so-and-so" is more often implied than direct.

Obviously when reports of this type come in, it is of concern. However, in some ways we're "damned if we do say something and damned if we don't". Either way, there is the risk of offending somebody. If we say nothing to "so-and-so" then the person requesting action may be offended and not come back. If we do say something to "so-and-so", they might get offended and leave. In many cases, they don't even know that they are offending anyone (and in some cases they may have no sense of smell)!

So - who's responsibility is it anyway? Actually, it's both the dancers' and the caller & partners responsibility. However, usually the dancer is not prepared to say something directly to so-and-so, which is why they pass it off to the caller/partner. If you are ever put in this position, let me offer some friendly advice.

Above all, make sure of the facts. Ask if they have done or said anything about it themselves? Was this the first time? Does it happen all the time? Ask what they want you to do about this (is there a hidden agenda?) It's also important to know if anyone else has had a similar complaint about so-and-so in the past. Ask lots of questions, but be tactful - don't be nosey!

When you are sure that there is a genuine problem, you are in a better position to choose the right action for the outcome you want to achieve. Now you have to weigh up the consequences. How is so-and-so likely to react? Do you know them very well, or are they relatively new? Some people may be a little bit careless with their words, their hands or their personal grooming, but may be totally unaware that they are causing a problem.

If you decide to speak to so-and-so about it, be discrete. Never single someone out in front of others (especially over the microphone) to tell them that they have done something wrong. This applies for both minor indiscretions and major problems! You will make no friends by embarrassing people.

Try to create an opportunity where you can discretely take so-and-so to the side and talk to them. Make sure that no one else is listening, and that you have a few minutes to devote to talking (perhaps during a round dance bracket, if they are not dancing). Firstly, tell so-and-so that you need to speak to them and say exactly what the complaint is. Don't say who told you - they will probably ask, but don't tell them yet. Then ask for their side of the story - it is quite likely that so-and-so may have a totally different version of the events, and you should hear their side too. If there is a genuine problem, you now have to be honest and tell them what is wrong. Often a few carefully chosen words will fix everything.

The bottom line is that these requests can put the caller or their partner on the spot. Dancers should really consider if the problem is theirs, or is it a club problem. If it is really something serious, or if they have tried without success to deal with it, they are totally correct in bringing it to the callers' attention. But think about it first.

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